A love from another winter
Today, I found myself in a whirlwind of emotions. I have to leap to the edge of the precipice into a new life, which I'm sure will be grand, but at the same time, fills me with anxiety. Despite more than a year passing since we split up, today the legal formality has caught up with us. You are no longer my wife, and even though I understand from a distance that this was the path we were destined for, I can't help but feel a deep sadness in knowing that from today, you are the woman who once was the love of my life. I couldn't describe what I felt when I hugged you, standing outside your car, bidding farewell to the last breath of a marriage that turned out to be the most beautiful journey of my life.
If I could wish our children a fulfilling love life, I would describe it as ours because we built a home filled with fantasy, romance, and emotions that overflowed from our fingertips. I don't care how it ended; our love narrated the most beautiful poetry. Even though one day we ran out of verbs to utter, even though wishing them a love like that of their parents would invariably end, I wouldn't deny them the pleasure of loving as I loved you because I loved you with all the impulses of my heart.
Even though you cost me more tears than I could shed, and more steps in nostalgia than I could take, in the end, the path was still beginning with you. But you were already gone, and I couldn't find your scent or the echo of your voice. I wanted to steal a bit more from that story. I wanted to tear your silhouette from my memory, even if it meant losing a part of me that I could never recover. But I couldn't do it. Our love remained in other winters, and right now, I'll have to sit on that bench with myself, and the moon that once stole my sighs will no longer be there for me.
In the end, I could infer that I needed this emptiness. I needed to understand through harsh lessons that I never truly valued your presence and to feel that perhaps I made the worst mistake of my life by letting you go and now I understand and accept that you did everything for me. When you read my words, you might feel devastated for not understanding why I didn't fight when this was the love I had. There are battles we can no longer have. This doesn't exempt me from preserving, in a sacred chest that no one will ever open, the days when the sun didn't scorch the skin when the cold didn't pierce the bones, the days I learned about love, with the woman who loved me the most. Farewell, W.