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  • Gerardo Javier Garza Cabello

Dimming Lights

I miss your face, your eyes and your warm sad smile. Memories of your scent and your gentle touch on my neck still deeply affect me, so I find myself pausing, remembering your laughter, your fears, your gestures, and feeling a bit nostalgic. I light a cigarette and feel like I'm trapped in my thoughts. I replay our shared experiences and realise that the emptiness left behind is much bigger than what used to fill it, somehow what we missed seems bigger than what we lived, until this struggle to find the right words to say goodbye seems unbearable.

I hold on to the memories of us for a bit longer, recalling our last moments, and thinking about the way you said my name. It makes me feel small. I must admit that this will be my last letter to you, and I want it to be meaningful. I hope you can understand, even if it doesn't change anything, that I will never forget you. You'll always be a part of me, even though we're not together anymore, it's time to accept that we've come to an end.

I can at least acknowledge that no one has loved me the way you have and saying goodbye is never easy. I must revisit the places we've been one last time, our short journey, waking up next to you, the times we held each other until the moon watched us. Cooking together, sharing a drink under the stars where nobody else could hear us, walking hand in hand through the city, knowing it will never be the same because it's filled with memories of you and me.

I miss your face, your eyes, your distant and bittersweet smile, and I regret that I pushed you away when I should have kept smiling for us. I'll say it one more time, and I hope it sticks with you: I love you, and I know you love me. The hardest part of this ending is that your love still lingers.

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