I knew not what to do with all I felt upon meeting you. I envisioned flocks of birds moving to the rhythm of an unknown compass, rebelling against their very nature as they soared towards me. I pondered the remarkable subjectivity of time, and how an infinity of events had to conspire for our paths to cross. I paused for a moment to savour the passages through which I formed expectations of things so simple and eternal. I dreamt of us as Leonora Carrington and Max Ernst, Fitzgerald and Zelda. The idea that your eyes might awaken alongside mine, that your hands might touch my cheeks, adorning my smile with a recurring act, swelled within me until it burst forth as an explosion of expectation.
I yearned to gift you a couple of dreams where I brought to life a room adorned with photographs of your gaze, and my footsteps etched their path towards wherever you were, humming the song I wrote with your name. Perhaps to create a future where we'd gaze at the stars in the middle of nowhere, with you as the backdrop, generously sharing the most treasured fragments, tears and smiles, even those not meant for me. These were the small yet monumental moments that would spark the insurgency of my faith, for I believed I deserved at least to be filled with emotion, knowing that there was a stage where we had been happy.
The pieces of your soul gradually reveal their nuances, the way you make expressions, the hope that you'd love me with the honesty of a sunset, finding new ways to breathe in your windows and dusting off the white elephant that was once my heart with laughter. We'd colour the grey maps I sailed to nowhere, and fantasize about your embrace fueling a flame that had once extinguished. We'd be violins in the Danube, and breaths of audacious air that would strike where my heart once hurt. I'd heal you, and in that, heal myself. I'd make you forget grey, rainy days with new autumn showers, and on paper, I'd give you the address where one day, we'd become two.
All of this, as I laugh at what destiny had been until this day. I'd release my clenched teeth when remembering that it had forgotten me, let go of the past, and think of you and me as we gaze upon the salted landscape. I promise that one day, your brown-coloured eyes will witness the northern lights with me. There would be no time, no space, and we could suspend eternity in a hundred seconds on your lips. I knew not what to do with all I felt upon meeting you, but as I contemplate your smile, I pause to express gratitude for the thousand things that had to happen for me to find you.